Saint Augustine
Augustine and his
childhood
On
the 13th of November, 354 A.D., a child was born to
a pagan father, Patricius, and a Christian mother,
Monica, in Tagaste, North Africa. He was not very
strong; most books, including his Confessions
describe him as puny. He needed the additional milk
of the slave women, never having enough. He grew up
in the women's quarters, and at an early age,
learned how to get what he wanted; and what he
wanted was usually that which pleased his senses. As
an infant, he soon discovered when to smile and when
to cry. The infant grew into the boy and then the
man later using anger to barrel his way through life
and the stormy society into which he had been born.
Monica tried to rear her son, carefully. He was
plainly the favorite, of her three children, even
though he had inherited much of the self-will and
violent temper of his father. From his earliest
years, he had a haunting, gnawing, seeking of
something or someone, that was to lead him into pain
and questioning for most of his life. He wanted to
understand everything, no matter what the cost.
His mother was born of generations of Christians.
Although her husband was much older than Monica, she
was stronger, especially in her Christian beliefs
and practices. She looked upon their union as Holy
and Sacramental, which very often became a thorn in
her husband's side. As she was extremely beautiful;
her Holiness and her husband's lustful desire of her
were not compatible. How she tried to convert him,
but to no avail! All her fasting, abstinence and
religious observances did not help to draw him to
the Church, either. Rather, it annoyed him; he
wanted her all for himself! Out of love for her, he
did, however, allow all their children's names to be
inscribed among the catechumens.
St. Augustine's education started before he was
born, St. Monica consecrating him to God and to His
service. He wrote, "he tasted the salt of God within
his mother's womb."
When Augustine was eight or nine years old, he
became gravely ill, close to death. He asked to be
baptized; but he soon recovered, and he set it
aside. It was the accepted custom of the time, to
wait until the threat of death before baptizing.
They believed there were so many temptations for a
child to succumb to, it would be better if he were
an ignorant catechumen sinning, rather than a
Baptized Christian whose sins would be more serious.
St. Augustine, in company with other Fathers of the
Church of his time, would help to eradicate this
error from the Church.
School was a painful experience for Augustine
Augustine never forgot the cruel and unrelenting
dehumanization to which he and the other children
were subjected, at school. He received no sympathy,
not even from his parents, as he complained of the
constant, brutal beatings he received from his
teachers, when he refused to read, write or study
his lessons. His mother, who almost idolized him,
laughed along with his father, accepting this
treatment as normal. As a little boy, he preferred
to play and talk idly in class. He was later to
criticize those who had punished him, those "men who
did the same things themselves." In his books, he
condemned Roman Education; it had hit an even
greater low, as it adopted the harsher customs of
Africa. He wrote in his book, City of God:
"Who would not shrink back in horror and choose
death, if he were given the choice between death and
his childhood all over again."
Carrying the scars of humiliation, the rest of his
life, he feared the disapproval of others. Augustine
excelled in school, but because of his even greater
fear of ignorance, he was never quite satisfied with
himself. He absorbed Latin like a sponge. Having a
good memory, he needed only to hear something, to
retain what he heard. He became drawn to the
theater, and developed the art of speaking
eloquently. This, God would use later for His
Service. Instead of using these gifts, he was
inattentive in class, displayed a surly attitude and
engaged in, often leading others in, the most
horrendous escapades. In spite of this, when
Augustine reached fourteen, his teacher recognized
his superior intelligence and recommended he go on
with his studies in the humanities.
His parents were overjoyed and proud. The only
problem was money! Although very successful, his
father Patricius, was having a bad year. His false
god, of politics and money, was letting him, and
others of his class, down. He could be called by
many names, but above all, he was a good father. So,
making huge sacrifices, he sent Augustine to a
school in Madaura, where he could continue his
studies.
Having reached the age of fifteen, he turned his
appetite, from childish game-playing, to the serious
business of reading the works of Homer, Virgil,
Cicero and Ovid. He was not aware why he preferred
Virgil, at first. Augustine later discovered, what
had most attracted him, was the stormy, turbulent
side of human love, this poet aroused in him. He
wept, as he read the writings again and again,
becoming intoxicated by the passionate scenes so
vividly painted by the pagan poets. He wrote,
"My one desire in those days was to love and be
loved."
Although outwardly very proper, inside Augustine,
there was a war being waged. Feelings aroused by the
pagan poets, filled his mind and soul with lustful
desires. This slipped by Monica and Patricius, as
Augustine, more and more, stood out amongst his
fellow students, lunging way ahead of them
scholastically. His father and mother were so
pleased with him, they decided it was time to send
him to Carthage, to attend schools where he could
further his studies, in keeping with his abilities.
But, instead, because of money again, they would
have to call him back home from Madaura. Augustine
idled away a year at home, until they could afford
to send him to Carthage. Skillfully hiding the
torment inside him, even from his mother, he
followed the path of fulfillment through sin. It not
only did not provide the satisfaction or love he
sought, but added to the depression that bound him
into knots.
Even though she was not aware, what was going on
inside her son, Monica would be responsible for his
salvation. Was it the early training, she had
imparted to him of the Faith? Was it that longing
that burns in our hearts and minds and never lets go
of us. Was it that Truth that always brings us back
to our Mother Church? Or was it, Monica, true
mother, possibly without realizing the danger her
son was in, nevertheless prayed unceasingly for him
and for his future? He did start to go back to
church with his mother. He cried out for help, even
asking God for the strength to lead a more virtuous
life. His prayer went,
